It is no secret that my brother and I rarely ever got along. I like to tell my youth that we fought so bad that our own grandparents wouldn’t even keep us together. #truestory
Now that I understand that our Enneagram numbers are 1 (the need to be perfect) and 8 (the need to be against), it makes total sense…it’s just the way we are wired…SO DIFFERENTLY.
I could tell all kinds of stories to elaborate on this point of us being totally different and not getting along, but let’s just say it was nowhere even close to a normal sibling rivalry type of relationship and made me go like this:
I would find myself talking to various adults/mentors about it and they would encourage me by saying, “oh, just wait til you get older, then things will be different.”
“HA! Yeah, right!” I thought…for the longest 25 years ever.
Even after we finished college, we still couldn’t quite get along…especially when it came to playing board games or having conversations about anything related to politics or religion.
Then, as if one day he woke up and decided things were going to be different (because, it was, after all, all his fault we couldn’t get along), things changed between us. Kind words were shared. A more normal, sibling-rivalry-type relationship was formed, where we could actually joke around with one another and it not resort to violence or tears.
It still makes me tear up sometimes (in the best way ever) with delight when my brother tells me he loves me. *sniff sniff* Like, I waited so long for us to be able to have a good relationship, and now that we finally have it, I live 12 hours away. Hm, maybe that’s part of the recipe… 😉
Oh, and other things I thought I’d never say:
-“It wasn’t all his fault.”
-“I was (probably) really difficult to get along with.”
-“I wish we lived closer so we could hang out more.”